Movie Review: Gone Girl

Details: Released in 2014. Runs for about two hours and a half. Stars Ben Affleck and Rosamund Pike.

A while back I tried to sit through a viewing of this movie and failed miserably at it. It was just unbearable to watch. It was cheesy, and corny, and melodramatic, and everyone in the film was so stupid and pretentious, as was the writing for this film. Anyways, I watched The Girl on the Train and kind of enjoyed it, so I decided to force myself through this movie and to try to keep an open mind doing so.

As with The Girl on the Train, I thought this film was okay. Like that film, Gone Girl played out in exactly the overly dramatic, campy, hyperbolic way that I expected it would. I wrote a little about this in the review for The Girl on the Train, but I just did not relate to the motivations of the characters or their decision making. Does no one in these films know how to communicate? Please, if anyone is reading this and is having problems with their significant others, don’t come up with an elaborate plan for murder, just talk it out please. Don’t be as fucking stupid or overly dramatic as the dumb fucks in this movie. I felt like I was watching the rationalization of a thirteen year old teenager rather than the decision making of well off, full grown adults.

Anyways, the premise is this: Ben Affleck plays a husband who comes home to find his famous wife missing. A media circus promptly ensues as Affleck has to maneuver around accusations of being responsible for his wife’s disappearance.

When I first tried to sit through this film, the part of the movie I walked out on was when the media started getting involved and I realized that this was going to be a film on public perception and the role the media plays in our society. I just did not want to watch a film about gossip andĀ sensationalist media. Now, that I’ve actually seen the whole film, I can now say my fear were exactly right. This is a film about murder mysteries and daytime gossip trash T.V. And yet, I was still somewhat entertained.

I think the biggest problem is that this film does not target the demographic I belong in. I feel like this film is, like The Girl on the Train, targeting bored housewives who spend their days reading mystery or romance novels and sitting around watching entertainment news shows or reading the gossip magazines. In fact, a character actually formulates the grand master plan by reading murder mysteries and using the strategies found in those books. It’s a vicious cycle of stupid. I just wanted to shout at the screen, “Why the fuck didn’t you just get divorced?! You had a fucking prenup! In fact, why did you marry such a dumb/fake/crazy fuck in the first place?! Be better judges of character you fucking children!!”

Watching this kind of stuff just gives me stress because I deal with this kind of stupid in real life. I don’t watch movies to stress myself even further with campy, unrealistic dialogue and immaturity and psychopathy I can find in my own work place. I watch movies to feel better or feel something I can’t find in my real life. This movie mostly gave me frustration. I already have plenty of that. Plus, the dialogue and plot progression made me cringe with their campy-ness and melodrama.

The one thing I did enjoy, like in The Girl on the Train, was the familiar faces of the cast. Tyler Perry, Doogie Howser, and the lawyer from Jack Reacher, at least at the time this movie was released, did not have the star power of Ben Affleck. it was still was nice to see them in these roles. The actors did a fine job with the material they were given.

Score: 5/10 I know lots of people loved this movie and I understand why. Films like this are not my cup of tea and are not the reason I go to theaters. I didn’t feel like I was all that entertained, nor did I gain anything by the end of the movie.

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